A few methods and techniques for developing self-confidence.
"Nobody can make you feel lousy without your consent"
Eleanor Roosevelt
These are some 'self-help' ways for you to start your journey of building self-confidence.
1. Everyone is good at something so, each day, recognize a different thing you're good at and morning and evening, spend some time focusing on it and saying out loud, "I'm good at ...". It doesn't need to be major - maybe something similar to baking a cake, supporting your friends, DIY, finding bargains, collecting stamps. At the end of each day add it to a list, observe as the list grows and be proud of these things.
2. Never fear failure! Successful individuals fail more often than the average person because they take more risks, they're prepared to fail and so they LEARN from their failures - that's what they're for. Each failure is a step nearer to success.
Think about a professional athlete who fails to win the race. Does s/he withdraw from athletics feeling lousy? I don't think so; they acknowledge what they did right, discover what was wrong, find a better way to do it, and rehearse until they improve.
3. Initially when goal setting, only set targets you know you can achieve, rather than setting yourself up to fail. This will help your self-esteem. Later you could start to challenge yourself with more ambitious goals.
4. Acknowledge that none succeeds at everything they do. The 'expert' skier may not be able to write a poem, the perfect cook may not be able to use a computer system.
5. Even the most confident people have something they're not sure about. They're not perfect; don't create stress for yourself by believing you have to be.
6. Understand that lacking in confidence is a state of mind. In this state you turn out to be a self-confessed victim and this changes your behaviour. Other people don't see you as a failure till your behavior tells them you are.
7. Dramatic changes rarely happen. More often it's the little changes on a daily basis which matter. If you grow even a little each day, you'll be amazed at the end of a year how far you've come. Thus keep a diary/record of where you started so you can see the differences at the end of the year. Make certain your daily habits and attitudes count, and congratulate yourself on your achievements.
8. Avoid being around people who make you feel negative about yourself. Their negativity is THEIR problem and has nothing related to you! Most likely they put you down to make themselves feel better about their low self-esteem. Try to find individuals who lift you and appreciate you.
9. Don't try to do it all on your own. Even if you could make some progress it will be much quicker if you seek some support from an advisor or undertake some confidence coaching.
10. Stop being hard on yourself!
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